God, You know, i am trusting You until i see..

this world is just so sad and depressing.. but we shall not be dishearten..

sha gua, mei shi de.. you are doing fine.. dun let the in between process affect.. cont to persevere(fight!fight!fight!) with the hope of seeing God's total revival at the end..

Dong Gua~.. Sha Gua~.. Ru Gua~.. haha..

4:06 of the mv is really sweet.. how fate threw the couple together.. in christian context, it is called God's divine intervention.. keke..

I have not much
To offer You
Not near what You deserve
But still I come
Because Your cross
Has placed in me my worth

Oh, Christ my King
Of sympathy
Whose wounds secure my peace
Your grace extends
To call me friend
Your mercy sets me free

And I know I'm weak
I know I'm unworthy
To call upon Your name
But because of grace
Because of Your mercy
I stand here unashamed

I can't explain
This kind of love
I'm humbled and amazed
That You'd come down
From heavens heights
And greet me face to face..

Suddenly, I feel so discouraged because it seems that I am beginning to lose my ability to encourage. I no longer could find the right word from my heart to encourage my love ones, and usually it was all natural for me do that. I really hope such sentiment is temporal and I can overcome it real soon. Returning stronger from where I have fallen.

Lately, I was quite badly afflicted by the happenings around me. My ah gong got quite critically ill, got hospitalised and has yet accepted Christ. Also, the endless waitings and uncertainty of my job hunting. Probably all these things caused me to feel that I have ran out of words to encourage/comfort.. The feeling is like how to encourage/comfort others when I myself don't feel encouraged/comforted at all. ha! great!

..not giving in to the situation yet.. thank God for all the Christian songs.. something that i can always use to encourage myself and the people around me..

Last night, someone was terribly upset with me because of certain things i said to her friend at that moment of anger, and to make the matter worst, she only get to find out about it through her friend some time later . I felt really remorseful after discovering that she was very affected and hurt by it..I hated myself for saying such insensitive stuff at that time.. don't know why i said it, perhaps to console myself at that point of time, or perhaps i was just blabbering anyhow to numb the pain deep within without knowing the consequences behind..

This person is someone very dear to me. Someone who is always so nice, kind and patient towards me, and definitely someone who does not deserve such an ill treatment from me. I keep telling myself to watch her back, encourage and guide her with my best ability, yet there are times like these showing that i have failed to do so.

I guess nobody is ever that perfect as to completely keep up with all their words and deeds they assured. We can try our best to attain that, but somehow we just can't do it, because unforseen circumstances and emotions may just engulfed us entirely and forbids us from acting rationally.

So does that mean we would always remain as the same old imperfect way as we were? Well, the key turning point lies in our dearest Heavenly Father's love. His love for us is unwavering. He is always so gracious, merciful and strong towards us in all given circumstances. Because of that, our imperfections are being made perfect.

Therefore if my focus were to be placed correctly on God before anything else,i feel that the whole situation above would be turn around.. Through my imperfections, she would put lesser expectations on humans and really learn to rely and focus on God more. This would draw her closer to Him, and also allow all her heart shaped hole insecurities to be completely filled up with the love of God.

Isn't that a situation whereby my imperfection is being made perfect through Him. The things i can't guranteed do for her, God does so on my behalf.. :)