J'ai besoin de temps avant que je puisse être normale vers you again .. s'il vous plaît me donner plus de temps et d'attendre patiemment jusqu'à ce que ce jour viendra, parce que je chéris l'amitié que nous partageons .. till s'il vous plaît prenez garde!

votre bien-aimé, blup blup.

I went to some business career fair with george and persis today. It was really an eye opener for me, because it is like my first time in a career fair that is so atas.. haha.. the venue is neither in school nor at any of the convention centres.. it is at marriott hotel man.. Down there, the big four firms and other major bank companies were exhibiting agressively on their career prospects with all the brochures and freebies ready to give away.. oh there were many distinguished guest down there too.. as i continue to look around for more distinguished guests, i saw someone damn familiar la.. Andrew Tan! hopping around talking to all the hr representatives he can find.. what a joke man! LOL.. he says hr personnels are the ones who decide whether or not to hire him, so it is important to make his presence unforgettable.. =X

I could not better express myself than this song by don moen.
The lyrics truely speaks for my situation.. :)

There's a hero
If you look inside your heart
You don't have to be afraid
Of what you are
There's an answer
If you reach into your soul
And the sorrow that you know
Will melt away

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

It's a long road
When you face your world alone
No one reaches out a hand
For you to hold
You can find love
If you search within yourself
And the emptiness you felt
Will disappear

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God, be my hero and that person's.

maybe all this while, i am just a tool for you to make him feel jealous..

*ouch*

strong vs determination vs foolishness,

sometimes it is just too hard to distinguish what all these are exactly..

maybe i really deserve it for not respecting your decision, and the outcome is always so hurting. So this time round i am determined to really just let go and Let God be in control. I am going to be a little extreme.. pls don't blame me if you are reading this, because this roller coaster up and down thingy is seriously driving me crazy..

It's suffocating me like mad.. like the more i turn myself in, the more you would turn away from me. The more that guy turn away from you, the more you would turn in to him. Sounds like playing the mice and cheese game isn't it. I guess that is the cruelity of life. Absence do make one's heart grow fonder in a bad way. The more the guy puts you in an challenging dream(cheese bait) of being with him, the more you would want to pursue it..

.. if one fine day when you finally obtained the cheese, would you be truely feeling happy about it? if yes, I want to ask you where that feeling truely lies.. the realised desire to taste and enjoy the cheese, or just the fulfillment of a surface desire to own the cheese, as it seemed so difficult to get hold of it in the first place..


..For me, I would choose not to be part of a dream for you to chase after, but rather, i would want be part of your journey to conquer a seemingly impossible yet most beautiful dream hand in hand together with you.. I don't want you to enjoy just my presence, but also the many wonderful outcomes that come along with it..


till then..


I will still keep you in my daily prayers as a promise for watching your back..


take care and study hard!


yours faithfully,
teddy bear


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God, pls give me the strength to let go of all this,and seek your will rather than my own. Amen!

Labels: hoping for a better change